So you took the plunge and decided to learn to dance Salsa On2!  Welcome 🤗

The Salsa On2 community is HUGE, not just here in Toronto or New York (home of salsa on2), but all around the world!   As an On1 dancer learning to dance On2, you can take advantage of the familiar as you overcome the challenges. 
 
THE FAMILIAR 

1. Whether you're dancing salsa on1 or on2, the music is the same. 
2. The rhythm of salsa (quick-quick-slow/1,2,3, 5,6,7) is the same.
3. General "moves" including the basic steps are the the same (shines and partner work).  The difference is when in the music you do it. You can apply what you know on1 to on2. 

THE CHALLENGES 

1. Your Salsa On1 autopilot.  Experienced On1 hear and feel salsa music in a certain way.  When you lose focus (which will happen), your autopilot will kick in.  Your efforts towards learning to dance On2 need to be very intentional.  
2. General timing challenges:  If finding the “1” in the music was challenging when dancing on1,  odds are the same will happen when dancing on2.  Music is music.  However, learning another style of salsa puts greater attention on music, instrumentation, rhythm and coordination.  Often, those who learn other styles of salsa can improve their overall salsa timing through the process.  

REMEMBER...
Quality dancers are first most impressed by good timing and rhythm.  Without it, nothing looks/feels as good as it should.  So don’t bombard your partners with fancy offbeat moves that usually lead to discomfort, frustration and even injuries due to lack of partner coordination and timing .  Make your goal to demonstrate to your partners that they can trust your timing and rhythm.

​Be patient, count and enjoy the journey!  

Have you ever asked yourself this question?  Seems like common sense, right?  Show up to class, learn some moves, meet some people, feel awesome!  A great experience needs some self-awareness and awareness of others. Let's look at this a little closer.

Firstly, why do we even learn to dance?

8 REASONS WE LEARN TO DANCE (VOLUNTARILY)
There are umpteen reasons but here are 10 common ones.

1. Learn to dance (duh!)
2. Meet new people (for friendship or perhaps more... but don't be creepy in class)
3. Escape from the daily grind and life stresses (family, work, partners, world problems, drama, controversies, general negative energy etc.)
4. Balance life with some FUN (enjoy the music, people, energy)
5. Follow a dream or fill a void
6. Challenge yourself (competition, improve, overcome fears, build confidence etc.)
7. Start a new awesome hobby
8. Prepare for vacation to a Latin American country or dance congress (if your dance of choice is salsa, bachata or cha cha)
9. It's in your soul and it needs to be expressed
10. Connect and vibe with others!  Yes!

IT'S ME TIME
When we choose do so something like dance, we look for an experience that will satisfy our needs, and wants so we can feel great.  Dance has tons to offer...the music, the movements, the people energy,  the vibe.  Feel energized not just after class, but in the moment. Let all that goodness into your soul.  It's ME time :) And on days you need some extra energy,  the music, dance and fellow students can help lift your spirits!

IT'S US TIME TOO!
Our sheer presence in the room impacts the overall vibe of the class.   We feed off energy AND we create energy.  Sometimes we're so into our own experience that we forget about others.  They may be having a blast, totally lost, killing' it, or struggling to stay focused. Your smile or encouragement might be that thing that changes their experience for the better.  
 
HOW YOU CAN CONTRIBUTE TO A GREAT VIBE IN A DANCE CLASS

1. FOR YOU - Come with an open mind, ready to learn and have a great time!  When you're having a blast, it contributes a positive energy in the room! 
   1. Immerse yourself in the experience, leaving your non-dance thoughts at the door!
   2. Don't hold back.  When it's time to go full out, go as all-out as you can.  
   3. This is your journey.  Don't leave regretting that you held back because you cared too much about looking silly to others.   
   4. Challenge yourself and enjoy the moments when things “click”.  
   5. Be patient with yourself if it doesn't "click" instantly.  Learning is a process.  
2. FOR OTHERS - Be aware of others who are also trying to let go and enjoy the experience! 
   1. Give encouragement, smiles, share space (mirror-time), saying hi and bye... all the warm fuzzy stuff.  
   2. In partner work, take care of your partner.  Be patient, smile, participate and don't force moves.  
   3. In partner work, acknowledge when you mess up (which is inevitable).  Somehow this can relax your partner (so they don't get tempted to tell you themselves). 
   4. Leave critique to the instructors (or for when you are asked for your opinion).  Think about how you felt when you received unsolicited instructions from a fellow student.  Usual inside thought "who do you think you are? <insert other not so nice thoughts and criticisms here>".  This is negative vibe, so try to avoid this.  
   5. Learn names!  Humans feel greater connection when you call them by name.  
3. FOR YOUR TEACHERS – Share positive energy with your instructor.  They vibe off of you too!  
   1. Respond when they ask questions like "move on?", "do we have it?" ,"do it again?" "questions?",  It's more fun when there is interaction :) 
   2. Pay attention (save your conversations with friends for breaks or before/after class).
   3. Try.  It's not about getting the moves perfect, it's about effort.  Instructors love seeing you have fun, but also seeing progress over time.  
   4. If you enjoyed the class, let them know! If you have suggestions or requests, AND if they are open to hear them, tell them in a respectful way.  

Let these ideas marinate for a bit.  We all can improve our self-awareness and awareness of others.   In dance, especially in Latin street dances, the experience is shared with partners, team mates, instructors, and friends! Radiate the your best energy and create an authentic joy that will keep you and others around you smiling. 

ENJOY!

If you’re a Latin danceaholic, your first few experiences watching two people tear it up on the dance floor probably got you hooked.  You might have been enticed by the sensuality, the rawness, the fun, the partner connection, the music, or simply how cool they looked…

1. “It looks like so much fun!”
2. “I love the music!”
3.  “I NEED to know how to do this and impress my friends”
4.  “If he can dance with so many hot girls, so can I!”
5. “Look at those awesome shoes! I want to dance in those shoes!”
   
   

So you started taking classes, picked up some moves from YouTube, tried club classes and left right after.  But it wasn’t enough to get good.  Why?  Social dancing is simply an essential part of your dance training.  Let’s say you’re not in it to be a professional dancer, so you’re not trying to “train”, you’re just in it for fun.  Hopefully everyone is in it for the fun since most people don’t get paid to do it.  HOWEVER, salsa, bachata and cha cha are primarily danced with a partner.  Which means what YOU do affects someone else.  If you’re off time, rough as a leader, lazy as a follower, YOU are affecting someone else’s experience.  For that reason, it’s important to care about how YOU move.  If you don’t want that kind of responsibility, then choose a partner-less dance genre where you can go buck wild and not hurt anyone else with your fabulous solo work 😜

While in many Latin countries, locals grow up with the music and culture, most any non-Latin Americans learned to dance outside their home, namely through formal classes. One of the biggest benefits of classes is feedback and practice with different people to prepare you for the social dance floor.  Here’s the order of operation:

STEP #1 – Take group classes and/or privates to learn how to dance, and get feedback by trusted instructors.
STEP #2 – Go out to a social/practice session/club and put those moves into practice. Start to build a level of sensitivity to leading/following others.  Adjust, revise, improve.  Have fun and meet new people along the way. 

REPEAT.

While Step #1 alone doesn’t typically build great dancers, taking the time to learn basics builds a foundation for great dancing.  And getting feedback is extremely valuable if you hope to improve.  You’ll find that all levels, even world champions and experienced social dancers have coaches to help them become smoother "movers",  more musical, clearer as a lead/follow. 

 Step #2 is the next essential part of a dancer’s progress to greatness. What you learn, must be put into practice. Mistakes will be made, and that’s okay.  It’s part of the journey and every dancer will go through it (pretty much forever).  This isn’t like Calculus homework.  There isn’t “one” right answer.  It’s about discovering your voice as a dancer, which is just as unique as you are.  First and foremost, remember that Latin dances meant to be danced SOCIALLY.  That’s the best part!  You'll meet people, create new friendships, laugh, connect and feel a sense of freedom that you’ve never felt before.  It takes time and practice to feel the essence of each dance style and to find your voice.  There will be bumps along the way but the results will be worth it!   

Here are 5 ways social dancing can help you becoming a better dancer.

1. IT TESTS YOUR SKILLS  
   Like any new skill, mastering it required requires real practice time.  One of the greatest things about dancing salsa, bachata, or cha cha is that practicing is FUN! I’ve had students that wanted to wait until they got really good before trying to social dance.  Reality check... it's nog going to happen that way.  Dancing with the same people who know all your moves/following people whose moves you know will limit you.  Great dancers are skilled at dancing with anyone – remember it’s not about the “moves”.  Musicality and connection can take a dance in many directions and the truly "free" will use their well-practiced technique to play and dance “outside the box”. 


2. IT DEVELOPS YOUR MUSICALITY (IF YOU OPEN YOUR EARS)
   Dancing is not just about "what you do" but "when" and "how" you do it.  A common quality in great dancers is musicality (the "when").  Exposure to a variety of music will definitely help your musicality.  It’s one thing to listen to a lot of music in the car or at home.It’s another to react to the music with your body.  Take the time open your ears to hear and feel fit’s flavour, the instrumentation, it’s mood, it’s soul.  Be an active listener of music, instead of just using music as a metronome.  Then learning to move with the music can greatly improve your own musicality.  And in dancing with others and watching others, you can absorb new ways of hearing music and expressing yourself musically.  
   
   
3. IT PROVIDES AN OUTLET TO EXPRESS YOURSELF 
   Dance is an art form.  And there’s endless ways to express yourself to music.  Social dancing exposes you to the styles of others in partner work, foot work, styling or playfulness!  On a day to day basis, many of us may feel constrained by "rules" whether at work or home.  Dance gives us that chance to let your hair down (so to speak) and move to music that inspires us!
   
   
4. IT HELPS DEVELOP BETTER BODY MOVEMENT 
   The ironic thing about having "natural" Latin body movement is that does not come so "naturally" to everyone.  Often it's a result of overthinking, trying to be "perfect" or simply lack of body awareness. Luckily   technique can be learned.  Street dances emerge in response to the "times", the culture and and innate need for humans to express themselves physically to rhythms and melodies.  Learning about the music, instruments, the culture and history can help develop that "natural" Latin movement.   Social dancing provides that opportunity to apply movement to music, and in doing so helps to develop your stylistic identity (which by the way, will continuously evolve as you grow as a dancer).  
   
   
5. IT HELPS YOU DISCOVER YOURSELF 
   This one sounds kind of flakey, but.... like our fashion sense, our humour, how we talk, we all have our own dance style.  We’ll be influenced by who taught us, what we see on a regular basis, our music and stylistic preferences.  And it’s something that is usually discovered on the social dance floor from many hours of fun (practice) dancing.  Enjoy the process.  Be a sponge and learn from instructors whose style you admire, and who possess the skills to teach you. 

 
Get yourself social dancing as soon as possible to gain inspiration of what’s to come.  Being in an environment where there are others who enjoy dancing too can keep the fuelling your fire for dancing. Feel the vibe of the Latin dance culture and take full advantage of the social nature inherent in Latin dances.  Watch, admire, absorb, and enjoy!  Watching can be fun, but it’s even more fun to dance!  #LetYourBodySpeak

(repost from 2014)

Many of us have been there before… when you’ve been dancing a while, it’s not uncommon to suddenly feel uninspired, unmotivated, almost empty inside.  It sucks.  Maybe you feel like you’ve plateaued, or you just don't enjoy it the way you used to .  It feels like someone threw a bucket of water over the fire that has kept you dancing your heart out all these years.  You feel lost because you can’t remember life without dance 😥… What happened?  And what do I do now? 

 At this point there are a few common reactions:

1. You second guess whether or not you should be dancing.  Maybe it’s just not for you anymore. 
2. You figure that it’s just a phase and you’ll eventually crawl out of this dance death hole.
3. You throw yourself into dance and fight your way back to inspiration.

 
In some ways these lapses can help us appreciate how much dance can make us feel happy.  Frustrating at times, yes… but for the most part DANCE has fulfilled in ways that only it can.  The music is awesome, meeting people is awesome, talking about dancing with other dancers is fun…  and the social aspect of Latin dances takes it a step further and provides a whole other salsa life with new “non-salsa” friends at “non-English” clubs in the middle of the work/school week.  Your non-dancer friends, family and co-workers just don’t understand how you can dance late on a work night… if they only knew how it was worth the fatigue!
 
If you’re feeling blue about this emptiness and think you want to get back into it, don’t despair.   Here are some ways to help re-ignite your passion to dance.  In reverse order…

#7) TAKE A BREAK   
Sometimes, what we need is simply to step away… not forever, but maybe for a couple weeks, a month or so.  Maybe your mind is telling you that you’re neglecting something else in your life that needs attention.  Maybe the drama in your scene is distracting and brings you down (this is a whole other topic that I'll tackle in another blog).  Maybe you're tired and your body need some rest.  If dance is in your soul, you’ll crave it again.  Unless within that time, you find a new passion (love, new hobby etc.).  Not to worry though, dance is always there, and welcomes you back with open arms when you’re ready.
 
#6) WATCH VIDEOS
This is probably the easiest, fastest, cheapest way to find inspiration.   YouTube,  Facebook, Instagram (among others) are endless resources for finding inspiration.  Top dancers around the world have footage of their performances, competitions, social dancing, rehearsals, and workshops.  Having said that, there’s nothing like learning live, from a real live person who is qualified to give you feedback and explain the intention of movement that an untrained eye wouldn’t see in a video.  WARNING – Do this in moderation as surfing YouTube/Facebook is highly addictive and extremely time consuming.  You know this already, right? #justsaying

#5) REFRESH YOUR MUSIC PLAYLISTS 🎼
Music that "moves you" is what dancers need. When you hear a tune that touches your soul, it's tough to resist getting into it.  How old is your playlist? If your music playlist has gone stale, so has one source of inspiration.  The cool thing about dancers is that we like to share our favourite songs on social media. It can't get easier than that to find new music.  So mix it up, find playlists through online music sources like Spotify or online radio stations.  Keep you tried and true favourites, but  give your playlist a facelift with new music.  Not only do we need variety to keep things interesting, it's also great education to learn about the artists who feed our soul. 

#4) TAKE CLASSES
If you feel like you've plateaued, please be advised that this is nearly impossible to accomplish in Latin dances.  If you look at the sheer variety of styles in any one genre (salsa, for example), it would take several lifetimes to be a master at all of them.  And when I say master, that means knowing everything there is to know.  There’s simply an infinite amount you can learn to improve your technique, musicality, and artistry, especially because it’s continues to evolve.  Liken Latin dances to the galaxy.  There IS NO END.  Are you getting the visual?  Perhaps you’ve only been exposed to a small sample of what’s out there.  Search for some variety, get educated about what else exists within the dance galaxy.  Be curious.  Investigate the dance world outside your immediate circle.  There’s ALWAYS something new and exciting to learn.
 
#3)  TAKE CLASSES IN OTHER DANCE FORMS
This can open up a whole other world of movement.  In street dances like salsa, cha cha, bachata, or kizomba,  there are many other genres that have been infused over the years – like hip hop, tango, ballet, modern, jazz etc.  Venture out and learn new ways to move your body that you could infuse into your style. The process of re-inventing yourself is fun, exciting and keeps the wheels turning.  Getting out of a rut means thinking differently.  So open your mind, expose yourself to things that are out of your comfort zone. 
​
 #2) PERFORM OR COMPETE 
If you haven’t tried performing or competing, let’s just say this is a whole other level of challenge beyond social dancing.  What you’ll learn through preparing for a competition or performance is a combination of extreme growth, pain, elation, frustration, excitement, anxiety, self-satisfaction, fire.. oh… wait.. did I just say “fire”?  Mission accomplished.

#1) TRAVEL TO A CONGRESS/FESTIVAL IN ANOTHER CITY… OR EVEN BETTER, ANOTHER COUNTRY ✈️
Sometimes a routine of the same ‘ol same ‘ol can get a bit tired… boring.  I saved this one for last because this “cure” works almost every time, at least for me, and hopefully for you too!  Travelling to a new city to experience their "scene", meeting new people, watching and dancing with local and regional superstars, has almost always opened my eyes to something new and fresh, and achieves the goal of re-igniting the passion in a big way.  There's SOO much going on in the world right now, and it’s there for you to experience.  There are zillions of congresses to choose from, so go to ones are recommended by your well-travelled instructor or fellow dancers.  Make sure to get involved – take workshops, social dance with the locals and the headliners, watch the shows, do some sight-seeing if you can.  You’ll come back a brand new dancer, full of life, and excited to get dancing again 😄 🙌🏼.  Maybe you won't be so full of life the day you get back, but give it a few days to recover.
​
Friends, I hope at least one of these ideas could help the ball rolling. And as mentioned before, this happens to almost everyone at some time or another, and when you’ve been dancing for years, it’s likely to happen more than once.  The nature of music & dance, and what it does to the soul is magnetic and has a way of attracting people back.  Enjoy the journey back to dance heaven :)

Did I miss any tips? Comment below!

We’ve all heard the saying “the follower is at the mercy of the leader”, and to a great extent it’s true.  We’re supposed to follow his choice of moves, how and when he wants to do it.  And when feels good, it’s oh sooo good – it flows effortlessly, it’s musical, it’s playful and she can’t wait for the next dance.  As followers, we seek those leaders who we connect with, who adapt to our skill level but can challenge us, those who share a similar groove, taste for musical style and enjoys interacting with us, not just dancing AT us. Every follower has her own special mix of traits that has her craving for more. It’s not necessarily about being the fanciest, it’s about creating an experience.  Hopefully it’s a good experience, but sometimes it’s not 😬.  Fellas, there’s some really basic things that will turn off a woman, so pay attention and steer clear of the “Top 8 Reasons She Hopes You Won’t Ask Her for a Second Dance”.
 

1. HE DOESN’T MAKE HER FEEL SAFE  
   When you dance with a woman, she expects you to take care of her and not lead her into dangerous territory or oncoming traffic. While she’s not simply passenger on this ride, as the leader, you’re in charge of the “moves” as well as her safe navigation through the jungle of dancers.  When you lead her into other people, you’re not protecting her.  So instead of enjoying the dance, she’s in defence mode protecting herself since you aren’t. This is one easy way to lose her trust.  You can even make bystanders nervous when they stand or dance near you.  If you’re that guy who constantly (and unapologetically) bumps into other people or sling shots your partner into everyone in her path, that’s just scary.   The moral of the story here… pay attention, protect her and manage your space!
   
   
2. DRUNK DANCING
   Just don’t do it guys.  You’ll always be remembered as THAT guy who was so hammered, couldn’t stand up straight, slobbered all over his partner and maybe even puked on her. Gross.  We all know that heavy drinking doesn’t mix well with salsa dancing.  Maintaining good balance is tough even when you’re 100% sober.  But for many, it’s part of the dance experience.  It’s social, takes the edge off, gives you some liquid courage to ask women to dance or helps you to let go instead of being a tight a$$ on the dance floor.  If you find that you reek of alcohol and are out of control (maybe you aren’t a good judge at that point – so hopefully your friends will help you before you make a fool of yourself), it may be time to just dance shines for the rest of the night if you insist on staying.  Remember, friends don’t let friends dance drunk. 
   
   
3. IT HURTS TO DANCE WITH HIM 
   It’s the 21st century and as women we may be independent, but most of us still like to be treated like a lady.  Let’s be explicit here…man-handling is a BIG NO-NO.  If you have to force a move, then something isn’t right – might be her, you or your connection together.   Forcing a move is great way to show a LACK of awareness.  Great leaders “listen” to her level of responsiveness and then adapt to it on the fly. If you feel a lot of resistance, take that as a sign.  Don’t force it or pile on more moves if she's wobbly and hasn't recovered from the last move.  Calmate!  To their defence, many leaders may not realize how “rough” their lead can be. If you’re not sure, get feedback from an experienced follower whose opinions and honesty you trust. Shoulder injuries are extremely common for salsa dancers.  It does't help that most of us hit the dance floor without stretching, so it’s partly our own fault. Outside of that, many leaders do not know their own strength, or haven’t yet learned how timing, elasticity and frame can eliminate the painful technique of suddenly yanking a girl’s shoulder out of her socket (let’s assume that the we’re talking about responsive followers here).  If you focus on connecting with her by using groove, timing and frame you’ll be able to add musical dynamic, quick stops, direction changes all without breaking her arm.  Leading smoothly (even during a high energy salsa) is a skill that takes time to develop and it starts with self-awareness.  
   
   LISTEN TO HER RESPONSIVENESS when you dance, and you’ll stand out among the sea of schmucks who don’t. 
   
   
4. DIVA DANCING
   Just like women, men can be divas…sometimes even worse than women. Let’s do a self-check.  Here’s some typical male diva behaviours:
   1. Wearing sunglasses at night:  Unless you forgot your prescription glasses, or lost a contact lens and all you have are your prescription shades, there’s probably no reason for you to dance with sunglasses on in a dark club.  It puts up a wall up between you and your partner and can give the impression that you're just too cool to show any expression.  You might actually be cool, but really cool guys know how to do this with their dancing and their awesome attitude.  
   2. Not smiling/looking bored out of your mind:  No one wants to feel like you’re doing them a favour by dancing with you.  If you’re having a fun dance, why not crack a smile every now and then?
   3. Not making eye contact:  Making playful eye contact is a great way to create connection and show interest in a dance. Looking away the whole time can project a sense of arrogance, that you’d rather be dancing on your own, or that you can’t wait for this dance to be over.  If you’re not a diva, know that this is one of the most common complaints, so check yourself and correct  yourself so people don’t get the wrong impression about you. 
   4. Solo dancing:  Generally speaking, salsa is a partner dance.  We’ve all been there before – you're in love with a song and you just want to get down.  If your partner can’t groove with you, you decide to just disengage so you can enjoy the dance for yourself. Don't leave her stranded.  Partner dancing is a conversation, remember?   
   5. Unsolicited corrections on the dance floor:  Unless someone is asking for feedback during a social dance (which really isn't the time or place unless you're okay with it), don't teach on the dance floor.  She may not be looking for an assessment and may actually be more experienced than you.  And that move that you keep trying to correct her on?  It might just be you unclear lead.  So think twice before giving her some unsolicited advice about her following or giving her dirty looks when your move doesn't work.  
   6. Never apologizing for your errors:  We all make mistakes on dance floor.  Sometimes it's you, sometimes it's her, and sometimes it's external factors like the drunk guy that keeps bumping into you.  If it's your mistake, it's nice to hear an "oops, my bad!" to help the other person know that you can recognize when you make a mistake and aren't infallible.  Then you can laugh about it and say "no worries"!  It keeps the dance light and shows a level of humility. 
      
      
5. STARING  
   I know it seems like we complain about no eye contact, and now we’re here talking about staring 👀.  It’s all a fine balance.  Dancing is interactive and there’s so much energy, character and feeling in one’s eyes (yet another reason not to wear sunglasses in a club).   Good eye contact can be sexy, flirty, playful and fun 😜  BUT every now and then fellas, you need to look away.  And don’t forget to blink.  Staring and not blinking is creepy, and is one sure way for her to avoid looking at you.  When she’s forced to disengage because your staring is making her feel weird, you’ve just lost connection.  Put your eyes back in your socket, remember to blink.  Be playful, not creepy. 
   ​     
6. OFF BEAT
   This is a frustration that applies to followers who have good timing, and use that skill to connect with her partner.  In the absence of words, music is our common language.  Not only does it inspire movement, it provides the very basic elements of the dance like the pace, which in turn dictates the rhythm and speed at which we move.  Needless to say, music is crucial when you’re trying to coordinate steps and turn patterns with another person.  At the very least, a predictable rhythm is needed to coordinate 2 people. When your steps and rhythm are random, it’s like she's on a wild goose chase.  She has no tools to help her understand what you're doing.  This is mentally painful.  Avoid complicated moves until you have mastered your basic timing and rhythm.
   
   
7. HYGIENE
   Some of biggest complaints about male leaders are BO (body odour), bad breath or over-the-top sweatiness (this applies to women too!) We know the drill.. shower, use deodorant, bring extra t-shirts, use mints instead of chewing gum like a cow, maybe use some cologne but don’t overdo it.  Don't place her hand on that pool of sweat collecting on your neck, or spin like the Tasmanian Devil, spraying sweat on her like high powered sprinkler.  The easy fix?  Bring extra t-shirts and a towel, and take some breaks to dry yourself off and freshen up :) 
   
   
8. OCTAPUS ARMS (UNSOLICITED GROPING)
   We know that most guys started to learn salsa (or bachata or kizomba) to meet girls.  #nojudgements #justsaying.   There aren’t many environments that make it acceptable to dance so close with a ton of girls in one night and not think anything of it. Having said that it’s not a free-for-all to grope her under the “guise” of “dancing”.  While some women are brave enough to be vocal about their discomfort, many women are not.  Instead of saying something, they may just avoid you with the hopes that you’ll get the hint.  No one wants to have that uncomfortable conversation which might hurt someone’s feelings.  Respect her space and pay attention to her comfort level.  Be a gentleman.  If she gives you a clear green light to get closer, then proceed at your own risk. 
   
   

Guys, we hope that this list gives you some useful insight!  Great leaders are awesome not just because of their technical and artistic ability, but also their spacial awareness and their talent for communicating with their partners without being forceful.  And that extra special something....they project an attitude that is confident yet warm, gracious and humble.  This is a winning combo that women cannot resist.  Let's keep making great experiences on the dance floor!

A huge thank you to all the ladies who contributed to this list :) Did we miss any? Comment below!

Related blogs:
8 Reasons He Won't Ask You for a Second Dance

Ladies… so you think you had a super fun dance with a great dancer.  But you wonder why he never asks you for a second dance.  Most guys won’t tell you why, but here are some common reasons…
 

1. FINGER SQUEEZING
   Unfortunately, leaders are subject to the dreaded “finger squeeze” by women supporting their weight and balance by squeezing their partner’s fingers like they’re milking a cow.  If you’re a finger squeezer, you’re a potential source of injury for your partner.  Make it a priority to improve your balance and own your steps to avoid benching him.  Injured men means fewer dances for the rest of us and we don’t want that!
   
   
2. MAC TRUCK & INVISIBLE FOLLOWING 
   This is not about weight, rather about tension/tone.  Achieving a nice, fluid, comfortable connection with your partner is needed to let expression flow freely.  When it feels like the leader is basically dancing FOR you (physically dragging you everywhere, keeping your time and balance), it’s a workout. You could be 90 pounds but could be the heaviest follower in the club.  Leaders don’t want dance FOR you, they want to dance WITH you.  Listen to the music, stay on time, and manage your own balance.  Imagine if you had to carry him while he was dancing…for 3-5 minutes. On the other hand, when a follower is too light, she can feel invisible.  He feels like he’s chasing you.  Kind of like dancing with a ghost... he can see you but he can't feel your presence enough to lead you.  (This is not the same as back leading).  Whether salsa, bachata, cha cha or Kizomba, there’s a certain level of elasticity needed in your connection for a true lead and follow to happen.  When you find that right level of elasticity, you’ll feel like you’re actually dancing together and isn't that what it's all about?
   
   
3. BACK LEADING
   Trying to guess what a leader is going to do defeats the purpose of following.  And it can ruin the connection you have with your partner.  Great followers are awesome at responding to the leader’s….well, lead.  Women are often afraid of being behind or missing the lead, but sometimes we think too far ahead and anticipate what’s about to happen. In doing so, you’ll likely miss the lead, interrupt his flow, mess up timing, and ruin your connection.  It takes skill to wait for that lead and have that right level of responsiveness.  That skill can set apart good followers from awesome followers.  Your first job as a follower is to follow.  There can be only one driver :)  So try not to “guess” what’s going to happen because you’re going to miss the fun of “feeling” what he’s going to do in the moment and where he’s going to take the dance.  
   
   
4. HIJACKING
   ​Hijackers take back leading to another level.  In the hijacker bucket include: 
   1. Over-stylers who take every opportunity to ram in every styling element they know in one count of eight, for the whole song whether or not it matches music.
   2. Social performers who use excessive energy (often taking down her partner) as they eyeball the crowd and potential onlookers. 
   3. Self-dippers who propel themselves into dips without a lead from her partner.  This is an accident waiting to happen. And can injure your unsuspecting leader. 
   4. Over-spinners who always try to squeeze in extra turns... just cause.  He leads 2, she does 3.  He leads 3, she tries to do 6 as he chases her wobbly unspotted spins across the dance floor, ready to catch her totally off beat and unmusical fall.
      
      Don’t be a hijacker.  Leaders don’t like dancing with them.  
      ​
5. THE WILD HORSE
   The wild horse follower usually doesn’t have a good command of timing, musicality or following technique, so she steps randomly with no particular connection to the music or what her partner is leading.  She’s might be completely oblivious to this, having a blast in all the randomness, OR possibly freaking out because doesn’t really understand how to follow (yet).  The wild horse is one of the most difficult types to lead because you just can’t control her.  Her lack of frame means you can’t even help her stay on time unless you put her in a kizomba hold and lock her down. Ladies, if you’re new to dancing, keep it simple and don’t be “extra”.  Tip: practice your timing on your own, take some classes, learn shines, listen to music, get feedback from a trusted instructor and keep it simple.  If you’re experienced, know your #1 job – to follow, and you’ll build a connection that will allow for more controlled “extra”. While there’s tons of freedom to play with in salsa, there are certain rules that help make it flow, and help your leader know where your weight is.  If you’re taking extra steps/missing steps or breaking back on 5.5,6,7.75,8, you’re making your poor leader suffer in confusion.  Moral of the story, don’t be a wild horse.  
   
   
6. DIVA DANCING
   This includes, but is not limited to:
   1. ​not smiling
   2. never making eye contact to show interest in the dance
   3. looking bored/looking around at other dancers
   4. lazy stepping/following like you’re too good for this dance
   5. giving negative energy
   6. giving looks of disgust when a move doesn’t work/blaming him for everything that doesn’t work
      
      Outside of technique, your attitude could be a turn ON or a turn OFF.  Men like confidence, an easy going vibe, a sexy attitude.. but not an “I’m too good for you” attitude. Sometimes it’s simply bad taste, however it's possible that some women don’t know they're doing it.  Be a friend and let your best gal friend know if she’s a dancing diva.   Whether you’re dancing with a beginner or someone you consider a superstar, it’s good etiquette to give him a positive, happy vibe :)
      
      
7. B.O.
   It may seem like women are the ones complaining about bad breath or BO, but it goes both ways. Keep some mints handy (avoid the potential choking from gum chewing), a change of clothes, deodorant and body wipes.  Don't make hygiene the reason he doesn't come back for more. 
   
   
8. "SECRET" WEAPONS
   This category is more about awareness and has nothing to do with actual dance technique, but it’s worth mentioning.
   1. Sharp jewelry (great point suggested by several readers):  Rings with sharp stones/ edges or flying necklaces can leave your partner feeling like they've been on a battlefield.  Similar to the "jump" test we do with our outfits to ensure there aren't any unwanted surprises, test your jewelry on yourself and see how it feels when scratch yourself with it.  If you see blood or scratch marks, maybe better to find less dangerous options. 
   2. ​Braided ponytail weapons:    If you’re planning on dancing where there could be some spinning involved, high braided pony-tails can be considered a weapon.  Imagine a stiff, tightly wrapped rope whipping you in the face with every turn.  Save that hair-do for Kizomba.

 
So girls, let's do a self-check every now and then, and make some adjustments as needed.  Let your dancing speak for itself and make him want to come back for more!  Happy dancing!

Thank you to all the men who shared their stories and opinions over the years!  Let's make our dance experiences even better :) 

Fellas, did we miss any? Comment below!

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